My OCD

The sources of OCD are a
misguided and inadequate
authority followed by an
inordinate need for control.

***

The one part of me
that I've never really
been able to say
"I know" is the part
that is out of control,
the part that makes me
angry all the time,
why I'm so obsessive.

People've mentioned it
before, but last week
a customer described me
as the one with OCD,
and maybe that actually
made him think better
of me, because he had
an explanation; I know
it makes me feel better,
anyway, even though it's
not a diagnosis so much
as an observation that's
at least partially
appropriate.

A few years ago, I actually
talked myself into avoiding
the connecting seams
on sidewalks, where the
pieces that make them up
come together, not so much
an avoidance of cracks
(because that's just silly;
I also walk under ladders
whenever I come across one)
as a need to walk only on
solid surfaces, and've
kept it up ever since.

I could go on with symptoms,
but the point is, knowing
or at least suspecting a thing
is the first step in taking
back (reasonable) control,
and with my OCD, I can make
that much more sense of myself
in the world, which is all
I can ever ask for.