In My Sister's House iii

Something I left
out of the non-Index
high school reunion
index a few weeks back
was mention about
how my relationship
with the owner of
all those pets
from last week
evolved over the
past ten years.

Truthfully, there
wasn't much to speak
of by the time
I shipped out to Erie
in the fall of '99.
I had waiting for me
a reunion with my brother
Pierre that first year,
and by the end of it,
strange new encounters
with the stranger who
had taken my sister's form.

I think it was one
of the last family trips
to Rhode Island that
brought us together again
briefly, and it put our
relationship into a
whole new dynamic,
which is to say perspective.

By the time the offer
was made to room with
her in Burlington, I
realized a new transition
had come, in many ways,
but mostly a new opportunity
to know her, and become
real family again.

That's what happened.

When I realized that
moving to Colorado Springs
was not only economical
but an extension and
evolution of our
new connection, it
was something to spark
an affirmation that
this time had not
been wasted.

It hadn't.

In My Sister's House ii

How to account
for a relationship
that's easily
my strongest
but also my
most tenuous?

As with any,
the nature of it
traces back
to its origins,
and in this case,
a mutual need
and rivalry,
dependence
and independence
mark the territory
quite well,
creating a dynamic
that I cherish
but constantly
question, because
both us need it
and maybe have
outgrown it, too,
or evolved beyond it.

In my sister's house
we know how to play,
what to play, and when
the rules are broken,
we both understand,
and it hurts, and it
strains, but when
it matters, we can
overlook the problems
because we better more
the better we follow
what we know works.

As in any
relationship,
the best moments
are the ones
we could never
plan, the ones
that just happen,
that work against
the things
that work against
us.

It's a weird thing
now to visit
my sister's house,
because I know
that is no longer
mine, even though
when I am there,
it is a second house,
but a second house
is not a house,
and understanding
that is important,
and perhaps in
the knowledge of
our limits we
are better off
for it,
to work the ebb
and the flow
instead of
against it.

But in my sister's house,
I know I am always welcome,
but it is her house
and not mine, and I
am only there when
I need to be.

That's what really matters.